Course Learning Outcomes – Franck Sygney – Fall 2021 FIQWS Portfolio

To demonstrate Learning Outcome #1

The three texts that I will explore in this essay are David Foster Wallace’s This is Water, Nick Sousanis’s unflattening, and Jamaica Kincaid’s Girl. First, David Foster Wallace’s This is Water gives us an understanding on what it means to have a Default Setting. The author portrays a scenario giving us an inside look at a random person’s perspective and opinion on how they should or would see the world and others. Second, Nick Sousanis’s unflattening depicts an issue where the fixed viewpoint makes us feel trapped, and gives scenarios where he goes against it. The author shows us how they believe and think from different perspectives on how the world should actually function. Third, Jamaica Kincaid’s Girl shows us how a mother explains to her daughter what it means to be “Girl” in this world, giving her life advice. She explains to her daughter that there is a certain way a lady should act. That a “girl” should act a certain way or be a certain way.

To demonstrate Learning Outcome #2, which is that I have developed “reading, drafting, collaborating, revising, and editing,” I will include copies of the Discussion Board drafts of paragraphs I wrote. [See the document to see the images of the paragraphs.]

The common theme that each of the stories share is how the world is trying to mold us, “The People” like one another, by portraying us as some type of “default setting”. There is a significant amount of similarities between David Foster Wallace’s This is Water, Nick Sousanis’s unflattening, and Jamaica Kincaid’s Girl. The main theme that each short story shares is that all three authors portray scenarios where everyone is stuck in their own type of “Default setting”. The authors describe in a way how sometimes in life we are unable to make certain decisions because of the way we were raised or taught. Wallace expresses how “It is our default-setting, hard-wired into our boards at birth. Think about it: There is no experience you’ve had that you were not at the absolute center of. The world as you experience it is right there in front of you, or behind you, to the left or right of you, on your TV, or your monitor, or whatever”(Wallace 2). Wallace is basically saying that we are born with a default setting but it is our jobs to become more aware and open our eyes, enlighten ourselves and see what the world has to offer. Without any thoughts on how the world actually works, we’ll be left in the dark. Nick Sousanis also states “Languages are powerful tools for exploring the ever greater depths of our understanding. But for all their strengths, languages can also become traps. In mistaking their boundaries for reality, we find ourselves, much like flatlanders, blind to possibilities beyond these artificial borders, lacking both the awareness and the means to step out”(Sousanis 52). Nick Sousanis explains that to shape our thoughts we must explore and find the thing we’ve been searching for. We tend to focus on so many things and get so blindsided that we forget what our main goal is. Futhersome, Jamaica Kincaid’s girl the author states that “ this is how to behave in the presence of men who don’t know you very well, and this way they won’t recognize immediately the slut I have warned you against becoming; be sure to wash every day, even if it is with your own spit; don’t squat down to play marbles– you are not a boy, you know”(Kincaid 321). Kincaid explained that women should have a certain way they should act, if they act differently than the way they’re supposed to act, it’s considered unlady-like.

To demonstrate Learning Outcome #3, which is that my drafting process has changed, I will include (and refer to in my Self-Assessment) a draft of one early paragraph and the final version of the paragraph to demonstrate changes in my drafting process. [Copy and Paste a paragraph from the Discussion Board that shows a draft and the final version in your paper.]

Finally, in relation to the theme “ Awareness” David Foster Wallace’s This is Water, Nick Sousanis’s unflattening, and Jamaica Kincaid’s Girl was able to help us develop a better understanding and point of view on how the world should and would function if we were able to gain the knowledge and experiences that came with being more consciously aware. David Foster Wallace used a scenario from a random person’s perspective and opinion on how they should or would see the world and others. Nick Sousanis used different points of views, by depicting a diverse comic that shows multiple perspectives. Jamaica Kincaid created a poem composed of life advice and instructions on how a woman should or would act. The theme helped us construct a series of ideas where we are able to break out of that “Default setting” and create new ways to find options and possibilities to help us grow and develop with critical thinking.

To demonstrate Learning Outcome #4, which is that I have engaged in the collaborative and social aspects of writing, I will include a screenshot of the rubric that a peer used to score my draft on the Discussion Board. [Copy and Paste a screenshot of the checklist from a peer who reviewed my essay on the Discussion Board].

I was informed that at 2:00 pm on October 25, 2021 professor Killebrew was doing a peer review workshop and assigned every student a peer to read their first draft of their Exploratory essay they had written and posted on the Blackboard Discussion Board. Now I posted my Exploratory essay on that specific Blackboard Discussion Board, but for whatever reason I ended up not attending the peer review workshop, so I wasn’t able to get feedback on my Exploratory essay by one of my peers. But I did end up getting a good grade on my Exploratory essay.

Feedback to Learner

12/13/21 2:57 PM

Exploratory Essay

Franck Sygney	59 & 60-69 F/D-/D/D+	70-79 C-/C/C+	80-89 B-/B/B+	90-100 A-/A/A+	Actual Score Average the 4 scores below: 94
Paragraph Organization	No paragraph is coherent; there is no intro and no conclusion paragraph; no quotes in the compare and contrast paragraphs, and no smooth transitions between sentences	Some paragraphs are coherent; there are intro and conclusion paragraphs, quotes in the compare and contrast paragraphs, and smooth transitions between sentences	Most paragraphs are coherent; there are intro and conclusion paragraphs, quotes in the compare and contrast paragraphs, and smooth transitions between sentences	Each paragraph is coherent; there are intro and conclusion paragraphs, quotes in the compare and contrast paragraphs, and smooth transitions between sentences	95
Assignment Questions	None of the requirements for Part 1, 2, & 3 are written in paragraphs with smooth transitions between sentences	Some requirements for Part 1, 2, & 3 are written in paragraphs with smooth transitions between sentences	Most requirements for Part 1, 2, & 3 are written in clear and coherent paragraphs with smooth transitions between sentences	All requirements for Part 1, 2, & 3 are written in clear and coherent paragraphs with smooth transitions between sentences	100
Grammar, Punctuation, Capitalization, Spelling	More than 21 errors in grammar, punctuation, capitalization, or spelling	11 to 20 errors in grammar, punctuation, capitalization, or spelling	Less than 10 errors in grammar, punctuation, capitalization, or spelling	No errors in grammar, punctuation, capitalization, or spelling	80 When writing an “essay,” the punctuation goes inside the quotation “mark;” the period also goes inside the quotation “mark.”
Format	Less than 500 words, single-spaced, not 12 pt. font, not paragraph formatted	Paragraph formatting, not 500-750 words, not double-spaced	12 pt. font, paragraph formatting, not 750-1000 words, not double-spaced	Times New Roman, 12 pt. font, paragraph formatting, 1000-1250 words, double-spaced	100

Feedback to Learner

12/20/21 1:31 PM

Research Essay

Franck Sygney	59 & 60-69 F/D-/D/D+	70-79 C-/C/C+	80-89 B-/B/B+	90-100 A-/A/A+	Actual Score Average the 4 scores below: 95
Paragraph Organization	No paragraph are coherent; there is no introduction nor conclusion paragraph; there are not no quotes in the compare and contrast paragraphs; there are no smooth transitions between sentences	Some paragraphs are coherent; there are clearly organized paragraphs; there are introduction and conclusion paragraphs; there are quotes in the compare and contrast paragraphs; there are smooth transitions between sentences	Most paragraphs are coherent; there are clearly organized paragraphs; there are introduction and conclusion paragraphs; there are quotes in the compare and contrast paragraphs; there are smooth transitions between sentences	Each paragraph is coherent; there are clearly organized paragraphs; there are introduction and conclusion paragraphs; there are quotes in the compare and contrast paragraphs; there are smooth transitions between sentences	90
Assignment Questions	None of the requirements for each paragraph are written in clear and coherent sentences with smooth transitions between sentences	Some requirements for each paragraph are written in clear and coherent sentences with smooth transitions between sentences	Most requirements for each paragraph are written in clear and coherent sentences with smooth transitions between sentences	All requirements for each paragraph are written in clear and coherent sentences with smooth transitions between sentences	100
Grammar, Punctuation, Capitalization, Spelling	More than 21 errors in grammar, punctuation, capitalization, or spelling	11 to 20 errors in grammar, punctuation, capitalization, or spelling	Less than 10 errors in grammar, punctuation, capitalization, or spelling	No errors in grammar, punctuation, capitalization, or spelling	90
Format	Less than 750 words, single-spaced, not 12 pt. font, not paragraph formatted	Times New Roman, 12 pt. font, paragraph formatting, not 750-1000 words, not double-spaced	Times New Roman, 12 pt. font, paragraph formatting, not 1000-1250 words, not double-spaced	Times New Roman, 12 pt. font, paragraph formatting, 1250-1500 words, double-spaced	100
Angelina DeMaio	59 & 60-69 F/D-/D/D+	70-79 C-/C/C+	80-89 B-/B/B+	90-100 A-/A/A+	Actual Score Average the 4 scores below: 89
Paragraph Organization	No paragraph are coherent; there is no introduction nor conclusion paragraph; there are not no quotes in the compare and contrast paragraphs; there are no smooth transitions between sentences	Some paragraphs are coherent; there are clearly organized paragraphs; there are introduction and conclusion paragraphs; there are quotes in the compare and contrast paragraphs; there are smooth transitions between sentences	Most paragraphs are coherent; there are clearly organized paragraphs; there are introduction and conclusion paragraphs; there are quotes in the compare and contrast paragraphs; there are smooth transitions between sentences	Each paragraph is coherent; there are clearly organized paragraphs; there are introduction and conclusion paragraphs; there are quotes in the compare and contrast paragraphs; there are smooth transitions between sentences	80
Assignment Questions	None of the requirements for each paragraph are written in clear and coherent sentences with smooth transitions between sentences	Some requirements for each paragraph are written in clear and coherent sentences with smooth transitions between sentences	Most requirements for each paragraph are written in clear and coherent sentences with smooth transitions between sentences	All requirements for each paragraph are written in clear and coherent sentences with smooth transitions between sentences	100
Grammar, Punctuation, Capitalization, Spelling	More than 21 errors in grammar, punctuation, capitalization, or spelling	11 to 20 errors in grammar, punctuation, capitalization, or spelling	Less than 10 errors in grammar, punctuation, capitalization, or spelling	No errors in grammar, punctuation, capitalization, or spelling	80
Format	Less than 750 words, single-spaced, not 12 pt. font, not paragraph formatted	Times New Roman, 12 pt. font, paragraph formatting, not 750-1000 words, not double-spaced	Times New Roman, 12 pt. font, paragraph formatting, not 1000-1250 words, not double-spaced	Times New Roman, 12 pt. font, paragraph formatting, 1250-1500 words, double-spaced	95

To demonstrate Learning Outcome #5, which is to understand and use print and digital technologies to address a range of audience, I will describe looking up analysis of the texts that I read. I will mention the websites that I used and the audience of these websites. For example, I used GALE and the CUNY ONE database, for which the audience is college students like me. [Describe the research process.]

During class on Wednesday, November 3, 2021 we had a library session with a CCNY librarian to discuss how to use the CCNY library database to find a credible source to incorporate in our research essay. To be honest with you I didn’t even know that CCNY even had an online library database. The CCNY Librarian was very helpful in explaining and depicting how to use the library database. At first the library database looked a bit confusing but after I was taught how to use the search engine and the tools that were incorporated in the library database I was able to search for the information that I needed. For my research essay it provided me with a topic that corresponds with my other sources that I needed to construct my essay with.

To demonstrate Learning Outcome #6, which is to locate research sources (including academic journal articles, magazine and newspaper articles) in the library’s databases or archives and on the Internet and evaluate them for credibility, accuracy, timeliness, and bias, I used GALE which has credible sources. GALE is an official database used by City College for academic purposes.

Self and other

(Awareness)

Possible Short story

“This is Water”

http://www.metastatic.org/text/This%20is%20Water.pdf

Default Setting?

Shows/Movie

The Good Doctor?( Autistic Doctor who see things differently and view the world in an unusual way, because he doesn’t see the world like everyone else, people tend to question him)

Selma?( Bring awareness to black lives,portraying a story/ autobiography)

https://www.amazon.com/Selma-David-Oyelowo/dp/B00S0X4HK8/ref=sr_1_1?crid=ZYY9MIL4RVFV&keywords=selma&qid=1639729967&s=instant-video&sprefix=selma%2Cinstant-video%2C68&sr=1-1

Soul?( What does it mean to have a soul? A soul is who you are, it’s what makes you a person)

Some Outside Source

https://go-gale-com.ccny-proxy1.libr.ccny.cuny.edu/ps/retrieve.do?resultListType=RELATED_DOCUMENT&searchType=ts&userGroupName=cuny_ccny&inPS=true&contentSegment=&prodId=OVIC&docId=GALE|JDJFRI128474268&it=r

Public Health and personal freedom

(Government role in public health)

Pros

Cons

Global warming and climate change

Sexual harassment

Water pollution

To demonstrate Learning Outcome #7

Course Learning Outcome

For my Exploratory Essay I had to conduct some research and figure out the right way to incorporate quotes into the paragraphs by following the MLA format. In my FIQWS class our professor went over our course learning outcome: “Practice systemic applications of citation conventions.” and provided links for us to research so we can have a better understanding on using correct quotations and citation conventions. To be honest with you I have always incorporated the MLA format in my writing because we were taught too in high school. For me to get the best grade possible on my essay I proofread my exploratory essay and saw that I incorporated the MLA format correctly. So, since everything was well put together, I submitted the assignment to the blackboard.

One sentence

Wallace expresses how “It is our default-setting, hard-wired into our boards at birth. Think about it: There is no experience you’ve had that you were not at the absolute center of. The world as you experience it is right there in front of you, or behind you, to the left or right of you, on your TV, or your monitor, or whatever”(Wallace 2).

In David Foster Wallace’s This is Water, Nick Sousanis’s unflattening, and Jamaica Kincaid’s Girl. We can acknowledge that each short story portrayed a different type of meaningful message that supported the same theme which was awareness/consciousness. The authors show us what life would be like if we all acted and thought the same, it would be like we all were the same. The world as we know it would have no type of development, it would create a dull environment and everyone would be unhappy in life. But we all have the power to break out of that shell and create a new environment where we all can express ourselves and educate ourselves on how the world, others and even ourselves should be viewed . In life you have a choice to make your own decisions, you just have to try and put in the effort whether you want it or not. We all have a choice to make, it all depends on whether we want to make that choice or not.

Synthesis paragraph

To demonstrate Learning Outcome #8, which is to practice systematic application of citation conventions, I chose to write in-text citations using MLA format. OR I chose to include footnotes using MLA format. [Copy and examples of your in-text citations or footnotes. OR you can take a screenshot of the citations.]

Reflection Paragraph

COLLAPSE

For my research essay I decided to utilize the theme “awareness” with our course theme “self and other” to construct a well written research paper that incorporates the MLA format, which is one of our FIQWS course learning outcomes. I will use three different sources to demonstrate, support and achieve the understanding of “self and other”. The short story, “This is Water” by David Foster Wallace Implementation of the “Default setting” will be a supporting source. The 2014 drama/historical drama movie “Selma” will also be a supporting source and will touch on discrimination in segregated areas and the actions that Martin Luther King Jr. and his followers take to bring awareness to the issues. Futhermore, Sexual harassment will also play a key factor on establishing awareness through self and other, due to the ongoing cases of victims being sexually abused, verbally and physically. I believe that these sources will play a big part in bringing awareness to our society and hopefully opening the eyes of many.

Wallace also states that “But of course there are all different kinds of freedom, and the kind that is most precious you will not hear much talk about in the great outside world of winning and achieving and displaying. The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day. That is real freedom. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default-setting, the “rat race” — the constant gnawing sense of having had and lost some infinite thing”(Wallace 7 and 8). The reasoning behind this is that Wallace is telling you that you have a choice to make these decisions, you just have to try and put in the effort whether you want it or not. We all have a choice to make, it all depends on whether we want to make that choice or not.